Cold
by CrazyJaney
Summary: ok all, this is a sad little songficcie in kenshin's POV.... kaoru takes his words the wrong way and she leaves... can he get her back?


A/N: ok, it's another songficcie, and momiji, i don't think u no this one either....... ok, i hope u all enjoy this one, it's a little different, but REVIEW none the less.... plz.....

**Cold**

"No, Kaoru!" I called into the darkness. She was gone. She'd mistaken what I said for something else. No, don't go......

_Lookin' back at me  
I see that I never really got it right  
I never stopped to think of you  
I'm always wrapped in  
Things I cannot win_

I never did anything right, ever. And now, I've lost her. She helped heal me. Tonight when she said she loved me, I was so happy. When I told her 'I'm sorry,' she didn't take it the right way and she's gone now.......

_You are the antidote that got me by  
Something strong  
Like a drug that got me high  
What I really meant to say,  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am_

I know that I'd been rather distant and kept all my problems to myself, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to hurt her. But my distance must have caused confusion to her already confused heart. I just wanted to apologize for all that I'd put her through, and for who I am, and who I was. I didn't want to push her away.

_I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold  
What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am_

I didn't ever want to push her way. Never her. I may have lied to her a few times, but it was for her own good. I didn't want her involved in things from my past that the Battousai had created for me. So I kept away, causing her pain that I didn't want to give her.

_I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold  
To you  
I'm sorry for about the lies  
Maybe in a differnt light  
You can see me stand on my own again_

Before I was so blind to her affections and how she was slowly, but surely helping me move on. Helping me forget everything that had caused me pain and I wish that I had realized it before tonight. All this time it was her. And now all I can say is I'm sorry.......

_Cuz now I can see  
You are the antitode that got me by  
Something strong  
Like a drug that got me high  
What I really meant to say,  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am_

Kaoru, you have to believe me when I say, all I ever wanted was you. I wish you could understand why I had to put distance between us. For your sake, I had to do it. I didn't want you to get hurt.

_I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold  
What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be sooo cold_

I kept the Battousai locked up within me in hopes of keeping you safer. I never intended for him to come out, for you to see that part of me. It wasn't fair to force it onto you, so I kept it locked up, away.

_I never really wanted you to see  
The screwed up side of me  
That I keep  
Locked up inside of me  
So deep_

He bothered me and brought back bad memories. And now he even drove you away, away from me. I didn't want you to leave my side, ever. There was a lot that I wanted to tell you about all that I kept to myself. Things that you deserved to know. All I need is you.

_It always seems to get to me  
I never really wanted you to go  
So many things you should have known  
I guess all I need is just  
No I never meant to be cold_

You would always notice how I felt, no matter what mask I wore. You were always concerned about me. I didn't want for you leave, not because of me. Never. But you did, and it hurts.

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
I never meant to be so cold_

You didn't let me finish, and you thought I didn't love you. I do love you, more than you'll ever know, so please, don't leave. Don't go. You have to understand, there were things that you weren't ready to know yet. I'm ready to open up to you now. I won't stay away, or be withdrawn any longer. I won't act cold towards you ever again.

_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold_

I will search you out, to explain, to share my feelings. I don't want to be away from you, even if it is for only a few minutes, or seconds. I need you. Only you. No one else can fill this void within me the way you can. I will find you. I won't be cold, for it was never my intention. Ever.


End file.
